Capitalism is to liberty as fascism is to _____.
One morning, after stopping for coffee and a scone, a man approached me. He said he was interested in buying some insurance from me, but then he put a blindfold over my eyes and guided me into a van. I tried to sell him insurance anyway, to use my aura of confidence and positivity to escape. The man said nothing for many hours and then the van stopped moving.
Would you rather (A) make more money or (B) have more children?
I haven’t stopped filling out the surveys since I got here. They get me out of bed every morning at 7AM and take me to a plain room. I pick up my pencil and answer questions for many hours at a time. After one sheet is finished, I open my drawer and pull out the next one. The drawer is never empty, no matter how many surveys I complete.
On a scale from one to ten, ten being the most, how willing are you to die for your government?
At first I felt afraid. I wanted someone to iron my clothing properly. What will my wife do now that she has nothing to iron? I miss her very much, but I have a lot of work to do. After all, it’s important to communicate information carefully and efficiently. This requires a clear mind, so I don’t bother with memories of my old life anymore.
If you noticed your neighbor skipping church, would you report him to the proper authorities?
I have been giving information for a long time now. They say I am the smartest, and it makes me feel really good to hear that from someone. I don’t believe I ever received proper recognition anywhere else. I must be careful not to let anyone down. I must be diligent in my efforts and maintain focus. A sharp mind is absolutely necessary for this kind of work.
What would you do if you overheard a conversation in a foreign language publicly?
The work is difficult, but rewarding. After four or five days’ worth of information has been drained from me, I am granted a day off. They let me color shapes with any color crayon I want. I paint a red triangle and a blue square. I create a trail of yellow circles that litter the edges of my masterpiece. I draw straight lines, curved lines, dotted lines. It is absolutely beautiful. When night
falls, I rip the papers apart and fall asleep in rainbow fragments. I think I may have become God.
